Have you ever set a goal and been so excited by the possibility of it, only to lose motivation shortly after taking action? I would guess that most, if not all of us, have been there at least once.
A few years ago, I set the goal to meditate daily for 20 minutes. This was in March of 2020. It was right at the beginning of the Covid lockdown and I had decided that my life would be exponentially better with a regular meditation practice. I figured that if I could commit to this goal daily, my anxiety would magically disappear, my focus would improve, and I'd be more productive and creative.
Spoiler: I meditated for less than a week before losing motivation.
Looking back, I see all the reasons why this goal didn't stick.
For one, my approach was motivated by a desire to fix something I thought was broken in my life. The anxiety I often felt. My inability to focus on 'the important things'. These were a couple of the things that weren't working that I wanted a meditation practice to fix.
Another issue was this—I was so focused on the future benefits of meditation I neglected to consider the experience I wanted to have each day. Making it through 20 minutes of meditation each day was a task to get through so I could check it off my list. I saw it as an obligation that would get me to a 'some day' in the future that was magically better.
Not surprisingly, each day I pushed meditating later and later in the day until eventually I filled that time with some other task. Once I missed a day of meditating, it was over. (Hey there, all-or-nothing thinking)
My takeaways?
Setting a goal that is rooted in self-judgment won't motivate you for very long. Nor will approaching a new habit with an all-or-nothing mindset. Because if missing one day is seen as a failure, you might as well give up!
What was also missing for me around this goal was a clear 'why' or 'what for.' Because without a compelling vision of the experience I yearn for, it's easy to prioritize something, anything, else over sitting for 20 minutes. Especially when that 'something else' provides more immediate gratification.
A compelling vision is powerful because it gives meaning to our goals and shifts our relationship with them. It pulls us out of what’s predictable and gives us access to what’s possible.
The vision is the experience you want to create. It’s what you truly yearn for. It’s the North Star guiding you forward even when obstacles or distractions inevitably get in your way. It’s a guide and a beacon—a reminder of where you’re headed and why that matters.
Rewind to my daily 20-minute meditation goal. My initial motivation was to get to a place where I didn't feel controlled by my anxiety. Which, on reflection, was still totally valid. But there was an underlying judgment in there—anxiety is bad and something to rid myself of.
When I took the time to think about why this goal was so important to me, I realized that my goal was, and still is, to get to a place where I can be with the anxiety when it arises and not have it decide what I do or don't do in my life because of it. Beyond that? To feel more connected to my body and how it responds to stress.
Beyond that? To have access to a life of embodied awe, curiosity, and joy.
Now, when my plan to meditate is met with internal resistance (especially when I’m feeling short on time) and my default response is to push it off until later or tomorrow, having a clear vision of “why” this goal is important to me reminds me of what I get access to when I prioritize sitting. It brings me out of the urgency of my day and connects me to my bigger commitments.
I get to ask myself: “In this moment, what will get me more connected to my body? What gives me access to awe, curiosity, and joy?” More often than not, the answer is to pause what I'm working on and find a space to be quiet and breathe.
By getting clear on the impact of my choices, I’m more likely to have compassion for myself on the days I don’t meditate AND more curiosity during the meditation. Instead of getting it done simply to check a box.
Creating a compelling vision is a powerful and ongoing process. And it starts with getting curious:
What are the experiences I yearn for in my life? (Consider relationships, career, health, and personal growth.)
What does a day look like in my ideal life?
What would I commit my life to, if failing was not an option?
What steps can I take to create a more balanced and joy-filled life?
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